chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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