She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
