bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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