i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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