Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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