Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
