great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
