sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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