there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
