I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
