tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
