its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I have already put on my inside pants.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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