yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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