So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
