no, he came in my armpit
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
