Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
