i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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