I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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