Old men and throwing up are my life now.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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