so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
