Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
