these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
