CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
A+ Viking dick
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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