the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
