He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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