Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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