the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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