i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize