I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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