i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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