if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
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