There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i think my tv is drunk
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i will never coherently bang her
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
