I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
