You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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