Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize