I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
