So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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