HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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