Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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