your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
