Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
