3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
