So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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