I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
