If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
