So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
