Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
