He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Please, let me fuck your mom
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
