I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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