PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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