Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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