No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
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