If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
