Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
