She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
