That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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