i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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