obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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