He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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