Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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