Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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