just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
