this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
