two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
