I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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