Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Im part way to drunk.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
