my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
