hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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