it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
