He passed out mid-signature
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
