Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
