is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
