he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
